So you’ve thought about starting therapy but you don’t know where to start? It can feel like a daunting task… you might have already typed in ‘therapy near me’ into google and whilst this might be a good starting point, you’ll probably be met with a HUGE wall of so many options, all offering slightly different approaches and all operating in a different way. It can be overwhelming on top of wanting to find someone you feel like you can click with, not quite having it pieced together what feels wrong at the moment, whether the process is for you and the thought of committing to something.
Take a deep breath – you don’t have to have it all figured out all at once. Let’s start with some easy steps to look at how to get started in a way that feels manageable.
Where to start with therapy?
Step 1: Recognise you are ready
You might already be thinking – step 1… I don’t even know if I’m ready for this yet?! You don’t need to have everything ‘falling apart’ to start therapy. You don’t even need to know what’s wrong or why. Knowing that something doesn’t feel right is enough. If you have been wondering if therapy might help, that alone is a sign that it’s worth exploring.
At this point, you don’t need to feel committed to the idea. You are ready to explore the option.
Step 2: Choosing the right type of therapy
Firstly a note that some will call themselves therapists and some counsellors. The professionals have autonomy as to what they call themselves and reasons for what grounds them to choose whatever title they wish. I may use the term therapist and counsellor interchangeably.
There are so many different types of therapy and you are not supposed to know which is the one that you think fits you best. However, giving you some kind of idea of the words therapists use can be helpful. Some of the most common approaches include:
Person-Centred Therapy – A warm, non-directive approach that helps you explore your thoughts and feelings at your own pace.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – Focuses on identifying unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours and learning practical ways to change them.
Psychodynamic Therapy – Explores past experiences and how they shape your current emotions and relationships.
Integrative Therapy – Combines different approaches to tailor therapy to your needs.
Bottom line, the most important thing is finding a person you like the look of, you feel comfortable talking to and you feel safe to talk about the difficult things that are on your mind. Most therapists will offer some kind of consultation call or meet to chat about what has brought you to counselling and they will be able to describe their style and you can ask questions. If it feels right, it’s a good start.
To give you an example, I describe myself as an integrative counsellor. At my core, I am a person-centred therapist as I prefer to take the non-directive stance and believe in creating an environment that enables you to explore at your own pace. However, I do have skills in Trauma focussed CBT and DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) which I may offer up or introduce should the person working with me finds helpful. To extend the example here, if someone is struggling with regulating their emotions I say as such, I may say ‘hey, I know of this DBT tool to help us understand what our emotions are trying to tell us, would that be helpful to look at?’.
Training to be a therapist/counsellor is a long journey of self-discovery and often we are really focused on self-improvement. So if I’ve done some really cool training in an particular approach or skill, I’m always going to offer that up as something to help us work through something. For me, it comes down to your autonomy and choice of what works or doesn’t work.
Step 3: Where to look for a therapist
This list isn’t exhaustive as us therapists can be found lurking on all sorts of platforms on the interest but some places to consider looking for a therapist include:
Googling local professionals: some will have google business profiles and you can find them on the map and click through to their websites.
Searching through a counselling membership body such as BACP or NCPS. Both websites have a ‘find a therapist’ functionality.
Directories such as Counselling Directory or Psychology Today: many will have profiles with 1 or both of these directories. You can search for local or online therapists.
Speaking to your GP: It might be that you don’t want to go down the private route and would prefer to wait for NHS support.
Social Media: Searching for key words and local therapists may connect you with the person you are looking for.
Step 4: Finding the right therapist
Here is what I think you should be looking for when choosing a therapist:
Qualifications and experience – Ensure they are trained and registered with a professional body.
Specialisms – If you have a particular concern (e.g., anxiety, trauma, relationships), check if they specialise in that area.
Personality and approach – Therapy is personal. It’s okay to look for someone whose style and energy feel right for you.
Affordability and accessibility – Consider cost, location, and whether they offer online sessions.
Step 5: Book your first session
Once you’ve found a therapist you’d like to try, reach out to them. It’s normal to feel nervous before your first session, but remember—you don’t need to have all the answers or explain everything in one go. The first session is just about getting to know each other and seeing if you feel comfortable.
I, like many others, offer a free chat over the phone to talk it through first. You can get a sense for who they are and you can ask any questions you like. Remember that even at this stage, you don’t need to feel committed to the therapist you have chosen – give it some time to see how you feel.
Therapy isn’t a quick fix and it might take a few sessions to get a feel for if it is right for you and is going in a direction that is helpful for you.
Starting therapy is a big step
…. but you don’t have to do it perfectly. You only need to begin. If you’re unsure where to start, focus on just one small step—whether that’s reading about different therapies, reaching out to a therapist, or simply acknowledging that you’re ready for change. Whatever step you take, it’s a step toward taking care of yourself, and that’s always worth it.
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